Monster WHYYYYYYYYYYY

(Quite obviously, a companion to the infamous novel tWHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYlight.)

It's been a blast. It really has.

I've been carrying you around for nearly nine months now, and every day of your miserable existence has made me lesser of a human being than I was before. But now, no more. The time has come for us to part at last, and do I feel guilty about it? As guilty as I would feel if Bella Swan was hit by a truck. My truck. And then roasted alive. In my barbecue. I have twenty-four hours to dispose of you, and I don't even know where to start except with this: Adieu.

Hi guys.

I figured I might as well post this so I won't have to do any explaining later.

Basically, the title explains itself. My name is Faryl, and I am, by nature, a critic. In a way, my style is similar to that of the Nostalgia Critic (which, by the way, no matter how much I watch, I haven't watched enough), but really... I'm not the Nostalgia Critic. Nor am I the Nostalgia Chick. Because both would sue me.

No, I think a more fitting description for what I do would be more along the lines of "the twenty-first century pop culture bullcrap taste-tester and proceed-to-spontaneously-vomit-er." That's a terrible name. Quite frankly, I take a lot of things that are written today (as in, NOW) and tell you why it either sucks (the more likely) or is actually worth reading.

I am automatically biased against this stuff because I am totes hipster yo mainly because most of the stuff in question has been watered down so much, it really can't be taken seriously by either its intended audience or anyone else who picks up that book and happens to like reading in that genre (and who has seen better books in that genre - or YOUNGER!)... or, for the record, BOTH! And that's only the bad stuff. I do admit I'm not as analytic as a lot of other reviewers out there, so between us, our opinions might differ dramatically. However, I have my own way of going about things, and somehow... it works.

And I know I'm doing my fair share of advertising, but one of my biggest inspirations in doing this was, by far, Mark Reads, which can be found at markreads.net. Even though I've only read the Twilight and Harry Potter reviews, his writing has influenced me greatly, which has partially led me to the type of reviewing I have today. That, combined with the Nostalgia Critic (the artist presently known as Voltaire was in there somewhere, too) taught me that spontaneous satire had its place - media reviews.

And so, here I am. I'll have my first speal posted in a bit, and let me tell you, it isn't pretty.