The Price of Freedom - Chapter Two: Lady Esmeralda

Hunchback of Notre Dame fanfiction crossover?

Maybe.

When we last left our hero/drunken pirate/former pirate/crouching-drunk-hidden-gentleman, he and his jolly crew of the East India Trading Company of which he is part (yes, THAT Company) were being pursued by a haunting pirate vessel from his past and such. Good Mister Sparrow had commenced to mentally panic about the situation before diving into Flashback Land and explaining to the reader (indirectly, of course) his past relationship to the (female) captain of the ship. As soon as he is snapped back into the present, hilarity ensues, and that is our "heading" for this chapter.



The hilarity begins with the first appearance of the captain of the ship (that is not Jack, it should be added, as it has been established fanon that Jack is the captain of every ship he stands on) as he is going on deck to see what is going on.

"Once [Captain] Bainbridge had realized that his new first mate was a competent sailor, and, truth be told, a better navigator than he was, he'd happily turned all of his least-favored duties over to Jack - including the early morning watch. There was good reason for the captain's reluctance to face the bright sun; every night Bainbridge ate a large dinner, then spent hours in his cabin, consuming copious amounts of port. As a result, the old man was seldom seen on Fair Wind's deck much before noon."


Captain, indeed.

Bainbridge soon confronts Jack and asks him about the matter. Yet no matter how Jack explains it, Bainbridge is still dubious about his first mate's take on the matter, as the Venganza (the ship in question, in case you do not have the book in front of you) is clearly not a pirate ship.

"'Captain, we've a vessel in pursuit,' Jack said, all business, 'I thought, under the circumstances, caution was indicated. Pirates sail these waters, sir.'"

"'I thought it prudent to change course and put on more sail, Captain, hoping she'd not spotted us. But it appears she has. Just a few minutes ago she changed course and, I noted, she's now putting on more sail. She's in pursuit.'"

"'Hmmmph,' snorted Bainbridge. Raising the spyglass, he took another long look, then handed it back. 'Correct me if I am wrong, but she looks to be a British ship. A Blackwall frigate, to be exact. Am I correct?'
'Aye, sir.' Jack was glad they were alone.
'And who owns the majority of the frigates produced by the Blackwall shipyard, Mr. Sparrow?'
'The Royal Navy procures them, Captain,' Jack said, his cheeks hot.
'Exactly. So... pirates in pursuit, you say?

The very idea!'"


"Jack took a deep breath. 'I know it sounds unlikely, sir, but this is the Caribbean. I believe, Captain, that this frigate is a pirate vessel. We need to think about what to do when she captures us, in an hour or so.'"

It is then that Jack explains to Bainbridge his take on how the ship came to be a pirate vessel, and STILL the same response came.

Do I even need to post the GIF anymore?

It is then that the Captain orders Jack to give the order to approach the ship, refusing to believe Jack's absurd claims.

And that's it?

Again, maybe. When it seems that the plot's going a little flat for this part of the story, it's time to head back into...

Flashback Land?

Really?

This author has a fantastic habit of merging two stories into one book: the story of what happened before the movies, and the story of what happened before the story that happened before the movies.

...

Hmm.

But anyway, if this pattern continues, the main story will only take up about half the book, and while we are patiently waiting for the story to continue, we will have to sit through Jack Sparrow's personal diary of all the bad memories he ever had. Now, as much as I like this sober, hardcore version of Jack........ no. Just, no. I did not carry a book around for two weeks and absorb muse out of it only to read about Jack Sparrow's inner thoughts and hopes and dreams and crap. He had On Stranger Tides to do that.

But, I digress. This flashback continues from the one before, beginning with Jack gaping like an idiot at the Venganza. After a small incident that involved Jack stealing money or whatever (this was back when he was a pirate, which will be elaborated upon later), he obtained the woman captain's full name (you know, that one guy's granddaughter whose hair Jack pulled or something).

Esmeralda Maria Consuela Anna de Sevilla.

No, seriously.

First of all, I only know one person with a name nearly that long, and it's a guy. Then again, what do I know? I didn't live during that time, regrettably.

The other thing is... She's from Seville. All Spanish women are from Seville. Seriously, first Angelica, and now this clown. I'd really like this explained - is it just a coincidence? Are all Spanish women in Pirates REALLY from Seville? Does she turn into Angelica? IS she Angelica? Did the author not know about Angelica when this was written? Is this in a universe where Angelica does not exist and thus makes Esme the only woman from Seville? As much as I would like for the last one to be true, I really am thinking too hard about this.

So after Jack went home to primp up (can't risk looking ugly in front of Spanish chicks!), he makes his way toward where the Brethren Court was having their meeting. Much to his father's dismay, Jack struts in like an eighteenth-century pimp and commands the room like he usually does. As Captain Teague's laser glare is incinerating Jack, we are introduced to some of the members of the Court that were most likely too dead to be present in the movies, such as Borya. I can't say he was much of a memorable character, but he talks funny. Everyone talks funny, but I'll give him that.

So during this meeting, we discover a few more things that will hopefully be elaborated upon later in the book:

1. We learn that, at this time, Jack knew Tia Dalma. How he knew her and how often he was hanging out with her, we don't know, but she was mentioned, so it was an assumption.
2. A brief memory of Young Jack. I can't exactly picture Jack as a young boy, so I'll leave that imagery to the reader.
3. Teague's first name is Edward. Is this new information?
4. Mistress Ching is blind. I always knew there was something up with her when watching the movie, but I never thought it would be that. Still, explains whatever was a little off about her appearance.
5. There is an established difference between pirates and rogue pirates, the former preferring to stick with the Code and hunt down those who don't. Apparently, the outbreak of rogue pirates is a big thing and should be addressed as a huge part of the plot. HMM.

Over dinner, there's a conversation. It might not sound interesting at first, but upon closer inspection...

"Jack heard Don Rafael say, 'You'll never guess who I encountered at Oporto a few months ago!'

'Who was that?' Teague asked, pouring more wine for his fellow Pirate Lords.

'James.'

Teague's eyebrows rose, and Villanueva exclaimed, 'Dios mio! I thought he must have met with a rope long ago! It has been years!'

'It has been many years,' agreed Don Rafael.... 'He's lost a hand.'

'You spoke with him, da?' Borya asked.

'Of course. I walked over and joined him. He seemed startled, but glad to see me. When I asked him later on how he was managing without the hand, he said that it wasn't so bad, the hook was as good as a dagger in a fight.'"

Holy crap.

Again, maybe it's just me. Maybe there are tons of pirates with hooks for hands who are named James. I DON'T KNOW. But even if it's a coincidence, I find this amusing that the author would slip this in, even if it is in passing mention.

And if it isn't splendid enough...

Don Rafael shook his head, his expression puzzled. 'It was strange, Eduardo. He commented on this,' The Pirate Lord ran a hand over his thick gray hair, which touched his shoulders. 'Since the last time we were together, I barely had any gray. But he didn't look a day older. Not a day.'"

This is because he has been hanging out in Neverland.

Slightly anachronistic, given the time of the story (THEN AGAIN, WHAT IN PIRATES ISN'T?), but what the heck.

So as this conversation concludes, our slightly less hardcore hero finally gets the guts to talk to Esme, and there's this really boring conversation that I really can't bother to copy on here because well WHY.

And so all of this goes on, and we're just writhing in pain waiting for this corny cheesiness to be over, and we don't know how much more pirate Jack we can-

"A scar-faced man wearing a huge, battered hat strode in, and then halted beside Teague.

'Ladies, gentlemen, allow me to present to you Captain Hector Barbossa.'"

THE PARTY DON'T START

 TILL I WALK IN.

Seriously, this is almost just like his entrance at the end of Dead Man's Chest. No one saw him coming, no one knew he was alive (or, in this case, in the area/picture), and Barbossa is kind of meh on my list of favorite characters, but he seriously makes the best entrances ever seriously.

So what's Barbossa doing here? He had been called (or something related) to speak of a previous experience he had with dealing with rogue pirates and how they had sunken his ship (and killed his monkey). Obviously, this is a really sensitive topic for the pirates because really who doesn't cry at the death of a cute little monkey?

Still, we have a pretty good description of Barbossa's speech from Jack's point of view, having never met the man before in his life:

"His accented speech was so affectedly 'salty' Jack half expected him to say 'Arrrrr' at any moment. And yet, despite the accented, rough speech, here was a man of some intelligence, perhaps even a man with some education."

I think this really describes him perfectly for a passage as short as two sentences. This author, so far, does a pretty good job of describing Barbossa and making him really vivid, sort of making the book the missing chunk of description in some parts from the movie. 

So while I'm thinking about that, Barbossa still talks and explains (not repeating the whole story, since it's the traditional 'pirate raid, ship sinks, monkey dies' story). And then there's this:

"'I did have a parrot named Polly once,' Barbossa admitted. 'A fine bird he was, but he messed up the shoulder of me jacket.' Jack saw the hint of something that might have been sardonic humor flash across his features, and realized Barbossa was indulging in a bit of irony."

I really like this Barbossa. I seriously do.

When Barbossa concludes his story, the meeting is dismissed and there is now the mystery of who is to escort Esme back to her grandfather's vessel.

One guess who steps up to the plate.

We are immediately zapped back to the present (the author is not responsible for any motion sickness that might have occurred during this trip) when the ship is QUICKLY approaching. Now, in case you were too caught up with Barbossa to remember what had been going on before (that happens.), it can be summarized in a few points:

• Esme's ship, the Venganza, is heading toward the Fair Wind.
• Everyone is screwed.

It is also not until this very moment that Bainbridge FINALLY realizes that the ship he CLAIMED was a ship of the Royal Navy was actually a PIRATE SHIP, making it exactly what he said it wasn't.

Look ma, no Starkid!

Oh crap.

Now, before Jack can say "I told you so," everyone starts to panic and, basically, all Hell breaks loose. Jack, being the hardcore totally-not-a-pirate gentleman that he is, tries to settle everything down by attempting to convince everyone to surrender as the crew of the Venganza don't mean any harm. At first, his attempts are in vain, but gradually, people start to listen to him. And for a while, Bainbridge does, too.

At least, until Jack tells him the captain of that ship is a female.

Quite frankly, Bainbridge does this:

before he does this:

Another 'Oh crap' moment. Now Hell REALLY breaks loose.

So despite Jack's persisting pleas for the captain to stay calm, Bainbridge does the exact opposite.

Bainbridge: THERE ARE PIRATES AFTER ALL JACK. WHAT DO WE DO

Jack: Stay calm, because they won't hurt us if we don't fight. So don't do anything stupid like panic.

Bainbridge: All right. Just... let the rest of the crew know.

Jack: Oh, by the way, the captain's a woman.

Bainbridge: WHAAAAAAAAAAT? SHE'S GOING DOWN.

Jack: I JUST said not to do anything st-

Bainbridge: I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT RAISING THE WHITE FLAG. I AM NOT HAVING PENELOPE CRUZ APPEAR IN THIS FRANCHISE TWICE.

Yeah, Bainbridge kind of freaks out. Which really isn't healthy for him. So keep that in mind when the pirates come onto the ship and Bainbridge confronts Esme, and there is a brief fight (plus Esme constantly offering peace to Bainbridge, who is deafened by his rage) before... he dies.

That's it.

He dies.

Bainbridge just falls over dead.

Man, those are some hardcore pirates.

And that's how the chapter ends.


What did I think?

1. The party don't start till Barbossa walks in.
2. In a perfect world, Barbossa exists as vividly described as in this book.
3. There are no women on the internet because they are all Spanish and from Seville.
4. That's a pirate ship? No, that's absurd.
5. This is Captain Bainbridge. He dies at the end of the very chapter in which he was introduced - like the walk-on he is.
6. Mistress Ching is probably one of my favorite minor Pirates characters.
7. Captain Hook makes an awesome indirect cameo.
8. Esme = Angelica?

Also, sort of a bonus that I didn't mention earlier, there is this in the middle of Barbossa's story:

"Jack's mouth tightened. You left that life for good reason, Jacky-boy, a well-remembered voice whispered in his mind. You can't go back, even if you wanted to, remember? You broke the Code. If I ever catch up with you, you'll soon be facing Davy Jones, Jacky-boy, and you know it..."

Jack broke the Code and now he's on the run? So that's why he joined the East India Trading Company?

I am intrigued.