Monster WHYYYYYYYYYYY

(Quite obviously, a companion to the infamous novel tWHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYlight.)

It's been a blast. It really has.

I've been carrying you around for nearly nine months now, and every day of your miserable existence has made me lesser of a human being than I was before. But now, no more. The time has come for us to part at last, and do I feel guilty about it? As guilty as I would feel if Bella Swan was hit by a truck. My truck. And then roasted alive. In my barbecue. I have twenty-four hours to dispose of you, and I don't even know where to start except with this: Adieu.